My friend Chelsea’s kids were misbehaving this week so she decided to send her children’s elf back to Santa. That’s right, her two boys have been fighting with each other, misbehaving, and being disrespectful. She wrote them a letter from their elf telling them that Santa had called the elf home due to their behavior and that maybe if they work very hard Santa might let him come back for Christmas. My friend posted about this on Facebook and received an awesome response from one of her girlfriends.
“Dear Chelsea, you are doing the right thing. But see it all the way through!! We find ourselves in positions where we want to be great parents, great friends, great examples, and great disciplinarians to our kids at all times but sometimes we can’t be all of those at the same time.
Letting them suffer and be sad so they REALLY know what they did and they make a change is HUGE at this age. We both have little boys right now and if we allow them to be little turds they will turn into punkass teenagers and then become asshole men. It is our parental responsibilities to pull the electronics, ground, say no, send the elf back to Santa, pass out a spanking, throw away toys, and assign extra chores to teach them the proper way to act.
Yesterday I was dropping off my nine year old at a birthday party and as he walked away (following the other kids) I said “Carlin, what am I going to tell you?” he turned back to me and said, “Say Yes Ma’am. No Ma’am. Please and thank you.” The mom of the birthday boy looked at me with big eyes and said, “I’d pay money for my kids to have manners like that” Has that been easy? Hell no!! but its been drilled in his head over and over. Its about the only thing we have down pat. One kid. One aspect of life. He has manners. I guess I can be proud of that.
But other aspects are a mess. He flusters me and frustrates me and is constantly in trouble, as kids should be. As far as I’m concerned, if a kid isn’t often in trouble then the parents are doing something wrong……they aren’t being watched close enough. Parenting is hard and one of the hardest things is follow through. Its easy to take that elf away, see their sad eyes, and bring the elf back the next day. Its Dec 14th. That gives them 11 days to stew in their own juices and shift their behavior. You have the perfect window of opportunity to guide them right now in the direction you want to see them go. Sit down with dad and make a plan. What do we want to see from these two boys? How can they possibly earn back Christmas? then make those boys work (and work hard) for your trust back. See it through lady and know us fellow moms are out here supporting you, knowing you are doing the right thing!!
There is nothing wrong with assigning “stupid chores” for “stupid actions” one of my favorite things to do is give them dumb things to do when they fight over dumb things. fight over who gets to use the toothpaste first? Guess what…… they get to clean the toothpaste drawer in their bathroom (and we all know what THAT looks like!). Fight over who goes down the stairs first? Mommy gets clean base boards on the stairs. Make him resent the punishments his actions result in!!!”
Way to go Melissa! I couldn’t have said it better myself! My husband did call me out though when he asked why I listen to you when you say this but not to him. Sometimes I guess it just strikes a different chord when other mothers say it to you.
I would love to know if you agree, disagree, or have other ideas about getting your kids to behave before Christmas and year round.