After our son was born we always thought we would have another child. I secretly hoped for a boy because I just wasn’t sure I was equipped to handle a girl and because the thought of having to re-purchase and decorate everything in pink freaked me out. So as time went by and Sam grew out of his clothes I donated about one third of his clothes. Mostly what I didn’t like, or was too itchy, too preppy, or too uncomfortable. I gave a lot of clothes to friends because a lot of clothes were given to me. I saved the other two thirds to pass down to our next child. I kept up this system for a while, and then I just started saving everything because it was easier. Now Sam is five and we have a crawlspace full of storage bins with clothes, baby toys and other things to pass down. The only problem is it looks like we are not going to have another child. It was time to let go.
* Originally posted August 4, 2014
It’s Okay to Let Go
After two miscarriages involving surgery we don’t think we want to do it again. We have become really content as a family of three. God has turned my heart to where I am accepting this more every day. Of course I still wonder how what having another child would be like. It just doesn’t tear me up inside as much.
Now, what to do with all of these clothes? For a while I associated them with longing, then failure, then excitement, longing and failure again, etc. Now I see them as an emotional obstacle I need to get over. I am actually ready to do this and tackle this project. First, I thought I would sort them, and then put them all in lots to sell on eBay. But I sort of feel guilty because so many were given to me. Also, who really has time for selling five years of clothes? So just the other day my neighbor and I were talking and they are going on their annual mission trip to the Navajo Nation. All of a sudden I felt a clear sign of what I need to do with these clothes! It finally felt good to think about letting go! My neighbor volunteered to take whatever I wanted to give down to the Navajo Nation. Social workers will then deliver the items to the homes that need them. I will also save some of the biggest items to donate to Grace Place Church LION Ministry in Berthoud, CO. They specifically take items for children and mothers.
I know saving all of my only son’s clothes was a way to emotionally deal with the possibility of not having another child. I know that it was only to hold onto these things until I was ready to let go. I also wanted them to go to a special place. Until now I just wasn’t sure where. I also thought I needed someone to help me go through all of this and make decisions. Now though I feel strong enough to do it on my own. I believe I will even donate two thirds and only keep one third, you know, until at lease menopause is over. Just in case!
*2015: Here is an update since I wrote this blog in. Once I finished sorting everything after donating I ended up selling tons more clothes and shoes to a consignment store and ended up making enough money to pay for my sons swimming lessons all summer! That felt awesome! I only kept one small bin of the items that tugged at my heart the most. That of course doesn’t count things made or given to us by the grandparents and special friends. I just sold the crib mattress to a friend today as I type this! That leaves me with one thing left to donate and it’s the Pack N Play. I can’t believe no one wants to buy it. Did they go out of style or something? That’s the last donation I have to make from the baby years. Thank goodness!
I cannot express how much this touched me. I applaud you for sharing your story with the world.
Janet Barclay recently posted…Organizing for College Students – Professional Organizers Blog Carnival
Thanks Janet! It’s been a tough road, but we are okay with it now! 🙂
Autumn Leopold recently posted…Summer Car Clean-Out : Brings Back “Happy” Memories
And some day, you may be blessed with a wonderful daughter-in-law, like mine!
Janet Barclay recently posted…Ten Tips for Stress-Free Business Travel
Autumn, it’s so brave of you to be so honest. It’s beyond hard to close the door on a dream, but you’re right, after a while it does get easier. Big hugs to you. I’ve been where you are now.
On another note, how great that you are able to bless so many other children and families with the clothing donations! You have made lemonade out of lemons, that’s for sure. Take care.
Thank you so much MaryJo. 🙂
Autumn Leopold recently posted…Summer Car Clean-Out : Brings Back “Happy” Memories
Thanks so much Autumn, this fits in so well with what we were talking about in our latest group and also the work I am doing with an individual client. I am going to share this post with her. 🙂
Kim recently posted…Clearing Clutter Support Group – Week 5
Aww, thanks so much Kim. Just tell her someone else has been in her shoes before and totally understands!
Autumn Leopold recently posted…3 Ingredient Meals to Save You Time and Money
It is really brave of you to share this story and I hope a lot of people will read it. It can be so hard when the image we have of our family doesn’t match the way it turns out. But Sam is lucky to have a caring mother and I agree you’ve done such a wonderful thing in donating his old items.
Thanks so much Nancy! This was such a liberating blog to write!
Autumn Leopold recently posted…What’s Enough? Making Time For the Things That Matter
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing, Autumn.
Thank you Agni!
Autumn Leopold recently posted…What’s Enough? Making Time For the Things That Matter
Thanks for sharing this, Autumn. Happy for you and for your family.
Marissa Jacobs recently posted…Real Simple’s Tips for Mindful Shopping
Thank you Marissa!
Autumn Leopold recently posted…What’s Enough? Making Time For the Things That Matter
Thank you for sharing your story. My hope for you is many grand babies to shower with love.
Thank you Lisa!
Autumn Leopold recently posted…Spring Space Refresh: Small Changes, Big Impact