Today, as I was on my exercise walk, thinking about my business and trying to uncover the times in my business where I felt anxious, grumpy, and like I didn’t want to be bothered. I was trying to recall the times I’d felt resentment.
Resentment is a relationship killer. Whether it be in your business, your friends, your neighbors, your spouse or even your children. If you don’t set and stick to strong personal boundaries and you let resentment creep in it can be costly to any relationship.
The last time I really felt a whole lot of resentment was when I overbooked myself with my work. Some of you are immediately thinking that being over-booked would be a nice problem to have, but I was so stretched I couldn’t see straight.
I was overbooked with coaching clients, dripping weekly material for a course (there are much easier ways to do this now), writing my normal blog posts two-four times a week, and delegating jobs to my sub-contractor. That was just the business side. There was also the mom of a second grader side and the busy housewife side! Not to mention a dog, two cats, and five hermit crabs!
During this time I know my writing suffered because I resented having to get a blog post out. I tried my best not to have resentment about my coaching calls because I do love being on live with clients and helping them work on their goals, writing, marketing, or the technical side of their blog. But sometimes the calls ( I scheduled myself) seemed like they were at the exact wrong times. My energy would be down and I would make it through but I was not having a flow-based conversation!
I understand that running a business means doing things at times that are convenient for our clients but your self care is just as, if not more, important. This is where the need for strong boundaries around self care come into play. After-all, you are protecting your attitude and energy and they both affect your reputation.
When you start feeling resentment towards activities involved in your business it’s beneficial to pay attention and figure out why.
- Write down when you begin to feel anxious about a task
- What tasks do you dread?
- What you would rather be doing during this time?
Do you see what activities you would rather be doing and understand that the tasks you have scheduled for yourself are impeding on this time?
For example, if you like to exercise or journal in the morning and you have booked yourself coaching calls every morning for a week you have lost some self care time. Same as if you booked working for clients after lunch when that is usually your gym time. If you know skipping the gym is going to make your have low energy and resentment toward your 4pm coaching call maybe you should put the gym back on the list.
Things to do:
- Schedule your self care as appointments.
- Set strong boundaries around them.
- If you hear yourself saying you don’t have time for the gym, or journaling, or writing, or whatever is part of your self care routine, then your boundaries aren’t strong enough.
There will be times on occasion you can’t help it but these times should be the EXCEPTION not the rule.
Take care of yourself first!
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